Being A Champion For Kids

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” 

― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Yesterday, I finished reading "Stories From Webb" by Todd Nesloney. The book features courageous and deeply personal stories from Todd and his team at Webb Elementary in Navasota, Texas. Page after page, warmth, humility, care, passion, dedication, desire and love jumped off my Ibooks screen. Demographically, my school is very similar to Todd's and similiarly by measurement of the State Department of Education we have been deemed a low performing school   I really enjoyed the book and as always after reading something I reflect on takeaways.

There is a chapter in "Stories From Webb" called "Scars". In the chapter, Todd writes about an experience from high school where he was brought into the principal's office while he was running for student council president. In the office with the principal and assistant principal, Todd was told "you, son, are a loser, and this school doesn't want or need leaders like you. You will never be a leader in this school. Ever". I was absolutely floored reading this. Then I remembered, reading "Culturize" by Jimmy Casas and Jimmy having a similar experience with a coach who didn't offer him the support or guidance that he needed at that time of his life. Both authors showed vulnerability sharing these stories, which ultimately made they both into the tremendous leaders and people they are today.

Similarly, I had an experience my senior year of high school that shaped my personal and professional life. Let's put some things on the table. I was not a model student. I believe my grade point average in high school was 1.75. One of the prominent businessmen in the city told me once "you were the 2nd worst kid I ever had at CCD (catechism). Who says that to anyone? Reality is, he was being factual. I was not well-behaved there or in school. I shouldn't say I was a major behavior issue as much as I didn't apply myself to anything that had to do with school. Homework, wasn't doing it. Reading, not happening. We even had a discipline deal called Saturday School. You would get in trouble and have to go to Saturday School. When you didn't show up for Saturday School, you were suspended on Monday. Guess what? I had a few 4 day weeks of school. For kids who didn't enjoy school, that was sort of handing them a gift. Sports and my friends kept me around and I did just enough academically to not have sports taken from me due to grades. What I never had was someone to step up tell me I was wasting time and talent. I had to find that out on my own the hard way, going to a Junior College to continue playing sports and eventually meeting people like Rod Raymond and Dr. Jayne Carlson in college who would sit me down and tell me I was wasting time and my talent. Those conversations likely saved my life and kept me from being a statistic or from finding a lifetime seat at the bar back home like many other people I knew.

I grew up in Ironwood, Michigan which has one of the highest rates of suicide in the state of Michigan. Three of my Little League teammates committed suicide as did another two students I knew well that graduated the year before me. The highest gun fatality rates in the state of Michigan aren't in Detroit, they are where I grew up, in Gogebic County, largely due to suicides. My home life was dysfunctional and like many kids at the high school age, I looked for my place in the world, which I found largely through sports and my friends.

The story. I did some dumb things in high school, but this was an instance where I was not involved, nor did I know who was. Someone had apparently slashed the tires of the school principal. He stopped me in a hallway and laid into me. I remember the words that came out of his mouth and they've hung with me ever since "I will destroy you". Time went on, I graduated, went to college and to play football and I drifted wondering I wanted to do with the rest of my life. That exchange surfaced for me time and time again. I knew I wanted to prove this man wrong. I also knew I wanted to be for others what I never had as a kid, a champion. Rita Pierson's "Every Kid Needs A Champion" Ted Talk speech resonates so much with me and inspires me because I never had a champion as a student. Like many kids, I was labeled (aloof, troublemaker, lazy) and never had the adult in my life during those years that built me up. The closest thing I had to that was a teacher whose classes I enjoyed that sent me once to buy him Snoop Doggy Dogg's debut album on cassette from Ronnie's Camera and Sound. I still talk to that teacher to this day. When I decided to quit his basketball team as a junior because I wasn't playing much - I needed a champion. I needed a few minutes of guidance and encouragement that would have lasted a lifetime. Never pass an opportunity to teach, inspire, empower, and transform a life by believing in a student.

There are many kids who were just like me at that age in your classrooms, schools, and school districts. They do not need condemnation. They do not need to be labeled. They do not deserve backs turned on them. They need your guidance. They need your encouragement. They need your support. They need YOU to be THEIR CHAMPION. You might not see their scars or know their stories. Take the time, get to know them. There is more to education and being an educator than your content-specific lesson plan or your job title. The greatest outcomes stem from making someone's tomorrow better than their today. Do not forget that and do not forget any student, ever. They need you. And, you know, you need them too. I think it's Jimmy Casas that says "if you didn't have students, you wouldn't have a job". Beyond that, the success of your students is the fulfillment of your life mission. You wouldn't be in education if you were not dedicated to improving outcomes for students, families, colleagues and community. The minute education becomes about you and not others, get out.

Thankfully, the principal who said those words to me 22 years ago at the end of this year doing just that. I've resented my hometown for much of my life, in part because of the experiences I had as a student. It makes me wonder, how many other people had experiences like I did and feel the way I do about where they grew up? It should not be that way. We should be strengthening community through education, not weakening it. Ultimately, that outcome is on us, the educators, the school leaders. Culture is either money in or money out. Every interaction we have either builds up or tears down. Take the time to reflect on where your classroom, school, or school district is today. Are you building a connection to all of your students? Do your students feel connected to the school? Do they feel connected to your community? Is your school or school system a place where people have fond memories and want to come back or do they look back at their time with you with disdain and want nothing to do you, your school/district/community?

Come Monday, be a Dream Maker not a Dream Taker. Be a builder, not a destroyer. Be a champion for every kid! Your life and theirs will be better because you did.

CJ