We Are

"We Are"

Recently, I had the honor to receive an advance copy of "They Call Me Mr. De: The Story of Columbine's Resilience and Recovery."  I cannot recommend this book enough. It's a transformative must read for every educator and parent. The book filled me with hope, wisdom and inspiration. There were several times throughout the book I was moved to tears. Throughout, I reflected deeply on who I am as a husband, a father, a man, and a leader. This book is one that's personal for me. 

We are a Columbine Rebel Family. My oldest child will graduate from Columbine High School in May. We have three other kiddos that will graduate as Columbine Rebels. My wife and I -- we wouldn't want our children to attend school anywhere else. We live in a community that's strong, welcoming, united, kind, and caring. Often you hear that sports teams take on the personality of the head coach. I've heard it said that schools as well take on the personality of their principal. The community we live in, the high school my daughter is graduating from next month, the sense of family the Cain's experience everyday is Frank DeAngelis.

Frank is living proof that one man can make a difference. If you are reading this today and think that you have no impact in your school, district, organization, etc. I want to tell you that you are wrong. Everyone of us is a leader. Everyone of us is a leader on our teams, in our classrooms, in our families, our schools, our districts and in our communities. We each own square footage and we lead within that square feet. We have ownership in how we behave and what the culture is within our square feet. Culture does not come from somewhere, it comes from someone. Culture isn't a catch phrase words on a laminated poster hanging on a wall. Culture is not something you proclaim. School culture is what you practice, promote and permit. Culture is belief, behavior, and experience. Beliefs drive behavior and the experiences it creates (what we give and what we receive) within your organization. Leaders create the culture that drives behavior which produces results.

If you want to positively change the culture of your school and the outcomes for kids within that school and community -- it starts within you. If it doesn't live within you it will never flow through and out of you. It's head, heart and hands. Never believe that you can't make a difference. What you believe drives what you do, and what you do determines what you achieve. When your belief is strong, you perform better, smarter, and with greater resilience. This is true in every aspect of life and was central to the rebuilding of Columbine. What you believe limits or empowers you. What you believe can pull you up or bring you down. How well we respond to competitive pressure or challenging situations is determined by what we believe. School turnaround starts with belief. If you believe it, you can achieve it.

As I write this blog I can't even begin to quantify the lives Frank DeAngelis has positively impacted. Students, teachers, fellow administrators, colleagues, parents, community members. Truly valuing people starts with truly valuing people. My life is one that has been impacted by Frank.

Here's a personal story that has made such a profound impact on me - I will never forget it or the example it set. It was my last year as a teacher. I had been accepted into the Ritchie Program for School Leaders at the University of Denver and was set to begin my leadership journey. One of the things I did starting out my teaching career was contact leaders within the field for advice. Those original emails led to lifelong friendships with people like the late Phil Lawler, whose lessons continue to influence me today. Of the emails that I sent to principals from across the nation, one responded. That principal, Frank DeAngelis. 

I wrote to Frank and shared that I was teacher who lived in Leawood with a student at Ken Caryl and two others at Leawood that was about to begin my career as a school leader. Not only did Frank write back but he offered his time and phone number for question and conversation. This was also Frank's last year at Columbine. He took the time to add value to me that day. With all that must have been happening in his day, he found the time for me. I'll never forget that. Neither should anyone of leading schools or school districts. Always find time for the people you serve.  

Special people make special schools. Columbine is a special school. I'm thankful not only for Frank's leadership, but that of KC Somers and Scott Christy who have followed him in the big seat as principal. I'm thankful for the teachers and staff who continue to work tirelessly on behalf of every child and every one, every day - what ever it takes. We love Columbine High School.

Over this school year it's been awesome to watch my boys interact with the students, staff and parents at Columbine. If you have been to a football, basketball or baseball this year you've seen the Cain boy.......on the sideline, at the concession stand, in the stands cheering, holding an athletes photo head on a stick, taking pictures with high school students in the student section (there's a photo out there of my youngest front and center in the student section at a basketball game), parents helping the boys up to sit in the top row at the Chatfield game, student-athletes giving them high 5's and talking to them after games, Mr. Christy giving his time as the boys always try to find him at games and events so they can say hi to him, assistant coaches such as Coach Thomas always willing to spend time with the boys when they come over and say hello, the boys giving thanks to a veteran at Jeffco Stadium, students, teachers and parents giving their time to transform hallways into children's themes for the annual trick or treat street, or at the football practice field running the chutes and hitting the 5-man sled without the pads on it (my youngest is wired differently than most 6 years olds)....that's just scratching the surface on the experiences the boys had this year at Columbine.

What you would not have seen is student-athletes from Columbine come to a 7:45pm basketball practice on a Wednesday night to lead practice and send my boys (and others) to dream land or student-athletes from Columbine come to my son's basketball tournament. Special, lifelong memories and a tremendous example for my boys about being good role models and giving back to our community.

In "They Call Me Mr. De" Frank writes "I wanted Columbine to become a story of courage, love, heart, resilience and recovery." In an interview that aired locally last night Mr. Christy shared that he  knew immediately that Columbine was "special". Columbine is all of those things. Most importantly, it's a family. One family. There are no truer words than "We Are" and "Once you are a Columbine Rebel You Are A Columbine Rebel For Life."

I encourage you to pick up a copy of "They Call Me Mr. De".  Page after page, it's full of personal and professional lessons that will make you and your school, business or organization better. As you read, take time to reflect on where you are in your journey or where your school, business or organization is right now. It's never too late to make difference. One of my favorite quotes comes from a Rage Against the Machine song.
It has to start somewhere.
It has to start somehow.
There's no better place than here.
There's no better time than now.

Make a difference. It doesn't matter if it feels small. It could mean everything.